Lunch with a legend

One day I was rather horny and somewhat ravenous for the old Bound and Gagged video trailers. I watched them as a kid (literally a kid, like when I was 11 and 12) and something inside me just really wanted to see them again. So I searched the depths of Bob Wingate’s blog (which I read every now and again anyway). I never did find the trailers, but I read his latest blog post and got the impression that times were tough for Bob, and that starting up production again was going to take a lot out of him. Feeling sympathetic, I sent him an email to hopefully cheer him up or alleviate his burden somehow. Was fairly short and simple, and really was just a thank you letter. In a short paragraph, I shared what the magazine and website meant to me when I was eleven years old and just starting to understand my own sexuality (which was heavily centered around bdsm). It helped me gain confidence in myself as a young man (I wasn’t ashamed of my desires) and I think a lot of people in this community can share similar feelings/experiences. I think we all owe a debt of gratitude to Bob, and I just wanted him to know that.

I never expected an email back, let alone in a few hours! He was overly kind and made me feel like we were close friends right from the start. I had sent him a link to my recon profile in my first email just to give him some background info on me, and when he replied to my email he linked me to his. I noticed right away that he is living in NYC’s Upper West Side, which was coincidentally where I was staying at the time. So we exchanged a few more messages and realized we only lived ten blocks apart. He asked if I would like to get lunch with him sometime, and I couldn’t have been more excited and honored to do so.

We met up at a small restaurant between our apartments, he chose it because there were few people and he thought we could have some privacy. I immediately took this as a sign of how different his life must have been from mine. I will talk about bdsm and my interests in front of anyone (yes even my parents know). Apart from having a fair amount of conviction, the only reason I can do this is because slowly the issue has become less taboo than it used to be. I’m sure for Bob, it really did always have to be whispers in the closet.

I think this was shown in our decision to leave the bougie restaurant we originally sat down at in favor of a more relaxed, but crowded, diner that was about a block away. I have to admit, I felt like an eager young journalist about to get his big scoop. While I hate history, the histories of SM and leather have always fascinated me, and I was ready to grill Bob about starting the magazine, running it, being involved with BDSM in the seventies, etc… I didn’t want to bother him too much though, so I let these questions come up casually. We mostly just got to know each other a bit, and shared personal stories and interests. What I learned was that Mr. Wingate and I have SO many interests in common. If we had grown up together we would have had each other bound and gagged every day! We were just so in sync with our preferences, fetishes, etc… Even in the kink world, it’s hard to meet someone who you feel so similar to.

We stayed at the diner eating and talking for about an hour and a half. Afterward, we went our separate ways with the mutual agreement to stay in touch (especially when I would be back in the city). I am glad he enjoyed himself, because for me it really was like meeting a celebrity. I feel very honored, and very lucky to have the chance to continue developing a friendship with such an interesting man who played such an important role in shaping today’s leather community.