Bondage How To

I am FREQUENTLY asked to teach others how to tie people up. Having done so in the past, I feel comfortable saying that the most important factor in learning how to tie is a focused desire. A lot of guys want someone to teach them because they want the whole process to be handed to them in a neat little package. They think it takes one lesson and then you're set. WRONG.

Lessons are the least important part of the process. What matters is WANTING IT. To be really good with rope, you need to WANT to be good with rope. The rest will fall into place.  Here are two real examples to illustrate this. About a year or so ago, I taught two friends (separately) how to do some basic knots and ties. My friend who was never really into bondage but just wanted to learn doesn't remember a thing I taught him in that lesson. He never practiced and didn't care enough to remember. My other friend was always curious about rope bondage, but had never really explored it as much as he wanted to. Within a year, he has already surpassed me. Out of one simple lesson, he has let his imagination run wild; experimenting with and practicing all sorts of techniques.

My friends received the exact same lesson from me, but only one of them really wanted the knowledge in the first place. That's why I can not stress enough how vital it is to the learning process that you actually care about the end-result. It's very similar to a sport or an instrument, in that regard. The only way you will be good is through hard work and practice.

Having said, I am going to start posting a few tutorials on how to preform some simple ties. While a few are already set in stone, I'm very open to hearing from you guys about what you'd like to learn. So leave a comment with what you'd like to learn. And hey, if there are enough guys in NYC looking to learn, maybe we could set up a small group.

Look for my first tutorial Weds. 

When Someone Gets Hurt

A young man into heavy chemical and breath play recently passed away while reading. This response is from Rubber Asylum (via Rubber Canuck), and you can read it here.

For your convenience, I have put the whole post here. I highly recommend you read it.

From my friend RubberAsylum today:

...on Tuesday morning we lost another member of our community and group.

Mike, from Idaho, or "Spuds" as the group labeled him at the party was found after a play accident that at this point appears to be Ethyl Chloride related.

I do not have much other information at this point, but shall share anything else when I find out more.
...

To which Male Bndg gave a heartfelt response:

This is really awful news. He was the nicest guy, only 23 years old, and only recently really finding his "legs" in the scene. He was also quite smart and level headed about play.

I think it's important to spread the word that even some very smart, sane, guys who thought they knew better are no longer with us today. Obviously I don't know the exact circumstances in Mike's case, but he wasn't the sort of guy to take stupid risks.

If you count up the number of really kinky guys you know, and you divide by the number who have died in scenes, the odds are not in our favor. They're not 1 in 10,000 like you might expect, or in my case, even 1 in 50.

The circumstances among them vary widely, but these EIGHT guys died in one sort of play or another just in the last few years. And these are just the ones I know about. I'm sure there are many more:

Mike (SpudsBndg)
James (Bodisama)
David (TieGuy) in the UK
Alejandro Bulaevsky (BikeRubber) found dead in full rubber in his NYC apartment
Bill (Bostoncuir)
David (Gummidawg)
Rubberpanther (a really fun amazing 20something in CA)
Adrian Exley (young guy from UK died at the hand of Gary Leblanc in a BC scene)

And there were a few more prior to the above including a guy who died in the Midwest at the hands of a breathplay top who's still in jail as far as I know. The trend is very much in the wrong direction with more each year.

I would encourage any and all of you to think twice about posting video, pics, stories, etc. that eroticize breathplay, forced substances, etc. without some really obvious warnings and disclaimers. I think sites like XTube have made what used to be extreme play much more widely practiced--often by guys who haven't a clue what the real risks are or how to be reasonably safe.

Sadly, it's all too easy for someone who doesn't know any better to see a hot video with breathplay, ethyl, etc. and while stroking their cock and decide to try it.

I know guys who have the attitude it's a "Darwin" thing and when your time is up, it's up. But I don't buy that. Mike is a very sad example of someone who was smart, not an edge player, and certainly didn't have any Instigator-like death wishes.

Please be safe everyone, spread the word, and think about how your own actions might encourage dangerous--or even fatal--play in others.

So sad that the community has lost another very young new member. Male Bndg is right, it seems to be happening with increasing frequency and especially in 2010 - I can't remember a year when we've lost so many. His points should be well heeded: it is inherently dangerous to engage in breathplay, particularly with gases. This is probably the most extreme of extreme fetish play and really needs to be considered as such for its great risk. It must be the responsibility of all breath players to not only warn and post disclaimers, but also educate.

I admit enjoying breathplay in certain situations and I am definitely not extreme in it. I wouldn't consider myself experienced any more than using condoms and gloves for mild suffocation or shutting off air supply to gas masks for only seconds at a time. But even trying to justify it as being at the light end of the spectrum isn't an excuse to absolve my responsibility to do it safely and only engage in it with others that are experienced in it, and also disclaim that it is something that should be done by experienced players only.

You can see in Male Bndg's list the number of men that have succumbed to asphyxiation for whatever reason. I can say that probably in 80-90% of those cases the man who died was playing alone. Even those of us with best intentions, playing with others, monitoring, and Plan B and Plan C backup can find things going wrong very quickly, so it only strengthens the need to have someone looking after you when engaging in breathplay or bondage and particular in rubber since there's no way to breathe through that miraculous material. It's a very risky engagement and only experienced players should be doing any extreme breathplay scenes.

Rest in peace, Mike.

Nasty Pig's Shred of Hope Campaign

From our website:

Nasty Pig presents Shred of Hope...20 limited edition, hand made, numbered purple Shredders. 

ALL MONEY from the sale of each shirt, not just the profits or the proceeds, will be donated to the Trevor Project on behalf of Nasty Pig Customers. 

Although there is a lot of attention being paid to the bullying of gay kids right now, this issue will only stay in the headlines for so long.  When the next big story breaks the media coverage will fade, but these kids will still be there needing help.  These super hot shirts will draw you tons of attention, so when people ask "where did you get that Purple Nasty Pig Shredder...I've never seen one before!" you will have the opportunity to keep drawing attention to this important cause.

And purple looks SICK with everything from blue jeans to black leather. 

Scratching the Itch

MPPHHHHHH! A friend from DC was in town this weekend and did his best to help me scratch my bondage itch. Loyal readers will know I've recently been into spandex and tights. So I guess he helped me scratch two itches.

The Bondage Itch

What, you ask, is the bondage itch? Well, contrary to popular belief, the bondage itch is nothing at all like jock itch (though I suppose a jock could be involved in a variety of ways). No, the bondage itch is that overwhelming desire for restraint. It rears it's head for me every now and again. It's that low down feeling inside where all you can think about for days at a time is being bound and gagged. No matter how many times you jerk off. No matter how hard you try to think of something else. No matter what you do, all you can manage to focus on is bondage. While every now and again I get the itch to tie someone, most of the time it's me fantasizing about getting roped.

And lately, that is all I can think about. Over the past few days, I have wasted hours dreaming about getting trussed into a tight hogtie and looking at porn. This specific flare seems to be centered around my since-I-was-eleven-years-old kidnap fantasy. That or that sort of old-fashioned tie up game sort of bondage. No sex, no pain, just struggling and mppphhhing. You know?

So come on. Who out there wants to rope me up, stuff my mouth tightly, and leave me to struggle for a bit? No takers? Like any condition, it will go away on it's own eventually. But I may as well ride the wave while it's lasting. Eh?