Thankfully, Ben

As Thanksgiving approaches, I'm feeling an awful lot like I was last year: sick and contemplative. It's true. I came down with a cold last year a few days before Thanksgiving and I'm having deja vu this year. I managed to take the day off Friday to rest, but have been working 12 hour days since then. Needless to say, I'm not exactly 100% better. Hopefully getting a cold will not be my next great Thanksgiving tradition.

However, despite my recent (and ongoing) battle against the common cold, I have been taking the time to do some thinking lately (or at least when I have time to). It may sound silly, but I really do think Thanksgiving is a great occasion to stop and appreciate life's bounty. Times are tough right now. My closest friends all know I'm pretty poor right now. Ok: really poor. Fine: destitute! hehe. I work my ass off between school and work (plural), and I am barely managing to eek out an existence.

Still, no matter how tough it can get, I consider myself very fortunate. I had a great upbringing that was filled with love and laughter, and I'm still very close with my family. I have a small group of friends who I really love, and who I have shared so much with. Between them, I know I have been surrounded by some amazing people, whose compassion and generosity never cease to amaze me.

I have also had an incredibly fortunate life. I received a first-rate education at an incredible university. I've backpacked through Europe with my best friend in the world. And now I'm reaching my goals. Two years ago I told myself I wanted to move to NYC and study fashion once I graduated from AU. And I did just that.

And hey, I'm seeing someone new. I like him a lot. While we have only been seeing each other a few months, he has already proven himself to be kind, witty, generous, sweet, adventurous, sexy, and very handsome. While it isn't official or anything yet, I find myself missing him when we're apart more and more. And I'm also grateful for the new kink interest he's helping me explore! Shh!

No matter how rough things may get, I know that I have so many things to be grateful for.

Thankfully,

Ben

Bondage How To: Two Column

We Are Experiencing Technical Difficulties

So I have tried to upload the tutorial three times over the past few days. Each time, after an hour or two of "Uploading", I get the message "There was an error in uploading your video, please try again". I am not really sure what to do at this point. Any suggestions?

Punishment

If you're looking for the first installment of Ben's instructional series on bondage techniques, I'm afraid you are going to have to wait until the weekend.  Why, you ask?   He hasn't yet taken the photos or video he needs to illustrate the step-by-instructions he is going to provide.  You may recall that in his latest blog post, Ben announced that the first tutorial would be up on Wednesday.  But he has, in his own words, "wasted a lot of time dicking around" lately when he should have been working on the blog.  To his credit, he recognized that his failure to maintain a suitable level of self discipline deserved to be punished.  Ben and I have been chatting about such issues since this summer, when I posted some suggestions here to help him maintain a regular blogging schedule.  We have worked out a system whereby I punish him if he misses deadlines on the blog, or if he more generally feels that he has not been properly focusing on his responsibilities.   So instead of a bondage tutorial, today we'll have a description of the punishment I provided for him on Monday morning.

I had Ben gather  one of his roommate's damp used gym socks, a tube sock of his own, some rope, and a small pile of clothespins, and then initiate a video chat with me.  Our past chats have taken place with Ben in his bedroom, but this time he requested permission to stay in his living room, which he reported was colder and so more uncomfortable for him than his own room.  As the chat connected, I saw that he was kneeling submissively wearing sweatpants but no shirt.  I had him stand and strip off the pants and his briefs, and then use the rope to tie his cock and balls tightly.  I then instructed him to gag himself with his roommate's sock, and tie it in place with the other sock.  Then, on my orders, he placed three clothespins on each of his nipples, and two more along each side of his stomach.  He only had one clothespin left, and so I had him place it on the underside of his cock.  This elicited his first real reaction of the session, as he flinched and groaned with the pain of the clip biting into his bound dick.

I then had him place his hands behind his head and spread his legs widely.  The stance he first entered wasn't wide enough, so I had him spread his legs out another step.  He knew from our earlier correspondence arranging this session that his punishment would keep him like that for 20 minutes.  It took fewer than 5 of those minutes before I could see him begin to shift his weight around to relieve some of the stress on his legs, but he knew better than to actually move his feet.  He also seemed to be shivering at times, perhaps from the combination of the chill setting into him and the throbbing pain of the clothespins.  Once I felt his discomfort had become sufficiently pronounced, I reminded him of why he was being punished, and he moaned in shame and pain.  

I watched as he stood stoically trying to hold the position, despite swaying and shifting as his legs continued to fatigue.  And throughout his cock twitched periodically despite, or more likely because of, his suffering.  As the end of his punishment time approached, I had him lower his hands and begin removing the clothespins.  He gasped and groaned into his gag as the blood rushed back into the spot on his dick that had been clamped.  The clothespins on his sides brought a similar but less pronounced response, as did the ones on his nipples.  Finally, I ordered him to pinch and twist his now very sensitive nipples.  He hesitated a moment, but I urged him on and he did as told.  The pain caused him to yell through the gag and to curl his body inwards as though to protect his chest.  But he continued twisting until I told him he could stop.  I let him stand a few moments with his hands behind his back as he calmed down and relaxed from his protective posture.  Finally I had him untie his cock and balls, kneel back down before the camera, and lastly remove his gag.  

When I asked him how he felt, he took a moment to gather his thoughts and control his breathing, and replied "Disciplined."

I believe that he was, and I'm hoping that we see a steady flow of his tutorial posts from here out, so we can avoid having to repeat the exercise.

-Sente

Bondage How To

I am FREQUENTLY asked to teach others how to tie people up. Having done so in the past, I feel comfortable saying that the most important factor in learning how to tie is a focused desire. A lot of guys want someone to teach them because they want the whole process to be handed to them in a neat little package. They think it takes one lesson and then you're set. WRONG.

Lessons are the least important part of the process. What matters is WANTING IT. To be really good with rope, you need to WANT to be good with rope. The rest will fall into place.  Here are two real examples to illustrate this. About a year or so ago, I taught two friends (separately) how to do some basic knots and ties. My friend who was never really into bondage but just wanted to learn doesn't remember a thing I taught him in that lesson. He never practiced and didn't care enough to remember. My other friend was always curious about rope bondage, but had never really explored it as much as he wanted to. Within a year, he has already surpassed me. Out of one simple lesson, he has let his imagination run wild; experimenting with and practicing all sorts of techniques.

My friends received the exact same lesson from me, but only one of them really wanted the knowledge in the first place. That's why I can not stress enough how vital it is to the learning process that you actually care about the end-result. It's very similar to a sport or an instrument, in that regard. The only way you will be good is through hard work and practice.

Having said, I am going to start posting a few tutorials on how to preform some simple ties. While a few are already set in stone, I'm very open to hearing from you guys about what you'd like to learn. So leave a comment with what you'd like to learn. And hey, if there are enough guys in NYC looking to learn, maybe we could set up a small group.

Look for my first tutorial Weds.