This year I went to my first Black Party in NYC. I had won tickets last year in the most tragic bar contest you could ever imagine, but just had Greg scalp them since A) I wasn't interested and B) was not going to be in NYC at the time. This year though I was hired by Vance to lead a bondage scene at the event (like I do for him on Friday's at Splash). More or less, the idea was to spend three hours creating a spider web of rope on a huge 10x10 frame, tie a boy to it, and lead a scene. All simple enough, and the pay was decent. Besides, it got me a free ticket to the event.
I am not much of a circuit party boy (or even much or a night life boy to be frank), but I was certainly curious about the event itself. I had been working non stop for the days leading up to the party, so I figured I would show up, do my scene, and leave.
I got there around 11:30 with Brian from the NYBC who was doing an identical scene elsewhere at the party. He had already suggested I tie up one of our mutual acquaintances, and since I didn't have a better suggestion, I agreed. We all met up at the ballroom and got situated before starting our scenes. The web took about two hours to make, and the scene prob took 30 or 40 mins. I think it was hot (or at least entertaining) for the audience, but me and the bottom had absolutely no chemistry (nor a particular fondness for each other), which made the whole scene feel like just another job (which it was).
However, the one surprise I got at Black Party was another example of my ever shifting sexual and emotional needs. Now, in the days before BP I had worked a lot at Nasty Pig. All of us felt like we must have sold a third of the gear that was worn at BP, and we met a large number of party goers in the day before. Many were hot, and I flirted with plenty (as is my prerogative hehe). I figured I would run into a few at the party, and was open to something happening.
Sure enough, I did run into a few. One in particular struck my fancy. A very handsome, bearded, muscular, broad, masculine man from LA. He came up to the platform I was on grabbed my leg. When I looked down I grinned broadly. We had flirted a lot in the store, and I thought he was just the sexiest guy. We talked for a bit, and started kissing. You know how some guys are just amazing kissers? Well that is exactly what he was. He was sweet and flirtatious, and just the best damn kisser I had met in a while. We kissed for a while, and eventually I started sucking his dick (which was thick, mouthwatering, and so suckable). However, it didn't last long. He picked me up, and we started kissing again, and frankly I couldn't have been happier. It seemed innocent, and somewhat ridiculous considering the venue, but I just could have stood kissing him all night.
Eventually I had to get back to my scene, and he told me he would be right there watching. ^ _ ^. The scene happened, and we had no chemistry and it was work. Afterwards I looked for my new connection and found that he was gone. I started to think he might have left after seeing the rather sexual scene, not realizing how much I would have rather been with him. So I untied the web and spent the rest of the party exploring/keeping my eye out for him. I never found him.
But during my intense search, I started to realize all the guys who had there dicks out just waiting for a boy like me to suck them off weren't tempting me even slightly. Usually NSA no recip cock service is my thing. But on this black night of nights, I just wasn't feeling it. All I wanted to do was find my big furry fella and kiss him deeply. It's opened my eyes a little bit. I haven't had a boyfriend in almost six years (David and I were never in a committed relationship). I have seen guys, but to be honest, I have always been happily (and preferably) single. But maybe I want to stop sleeping around. Maybe I'm ready to find just one guy. Maybe I'm ready to meet my someone just for me.
8 comments:
As I've said, someday a Man will win your heart. There's plenty of cock out there Ben, but maybe the boy is starting to see the need for something real. It'll happen when and where you least expect it.
Hope you find what you are looking for. Sex is easy. Relationships are hard to find. They take work, honesty, communication and the willingness to love someone for their flaws as much as their strengthens.
Ben, I feel the same way. Always have been looking for that special Dom. I am never one to really get into one time scenes. Ideally I need to have a meaningful friendship with the Dom and potentially lead to a relationship. I haven't had any luck yet... but I'm getting closer... You will find the guy to balance you out. It's what we're all looking for. Just keep looking... He's out there...
fucking hot story stud!
maybe it is time
It's not impossible, but be especially wary about men in NYC. Not the natives (they're cool) but the ones from other places who moved to Manhattan. Often they moved there because there's a dysfunctional neediness in them that they thought NYC would fulfill, but they just remain that way.
Anonymous: you're generalizing to an extreme degree, especially considering that the vast majority of the gay population in NYC is composed of transplants. Are some people dysfunctionally needy? Sure, but certainly not more than the general gay population.
If anything, my 9 years in NYC (yes, I'm a transplant) have taught me that it's often the native Manhattanites (thought not so much natives of other boroughs) who are quite dysfunctional. Growing up gay in such a gay city means they get to experience things at a very early age that most of the rest of us experience much later. That creates a certain world-weariness and a "done it all, seen it all" attitude.
N : Yes, of course I'm generalizing to an extreme degree, but that's because I've found it to be generally the truth. And I was born and raised in Queens and have known every part of the city more than well, every borough, rich and poor, all the ethnicities, the difference between transplants and natives....There are exceptions to every rule, though, and that's why I'm telling Ben not to rule out transplants-to-Manhattan, but just that the ghetto-gay neediness is a trait to watch out for.
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