Relationships

It may interest you to know that I have gone on a few dates recently with a very sexy Daddy in NYC. And I have to admit, it's going pretty well so far. We've only gone on a few dates, but they have been pretty spectacular. We even spent the day together at Coney Island, and it was probably the best day of my entire summer. We have pretty spectacular chemistry, and I'm even missing him a little now that we haven't spoken in a few days. Cue "awwww"s.

Spending time with him and developing MODEST, completely EMBRYONIC feelings for him has made me start thinking a bit, and I have actually come to quite the realization. Out of the five guys whom I have had feelings for over the past six years, not one of them could have developed into a relationship. When I was 19, I fell for a guy with a bf. When I was 20, I fell for David who was in NYC while I was in DC. When I was 21, I had feelings for Greg, who lived in NYC while I was in DC. And sure enough, when I was 22, I was casually dating, and quite taken with a DC Cop who I never mentioned on this blog. Of course, we started seeing each other five months before I left for NYC. No matter the guy, there was always some external force that made a relationship unlikely/undesirable/impossible.

While I am not even remotely saying Phil and I are going to become boyfriends or that I would even want that... but it is the first time I have ever even been interested in where it COULD happen. There's no obvious reason we couldn't...which is frankly a bit strange to me, and yeah...a little intimidating. Don't get me wrong, I wanted to be David's boy, and there were even times when I considered being the Cop's boyfriend. I really WANTED to make it work. Still, there was a bit of a safety net in each one.

With Phil, or any guy that I meet now that I'm living in NYC full time, is a relationship the final destination of dating? I mean if I start to have feelings for a guy and visa versa... is a relationship inevitable? And if not, what else is there? Fuck buddies who have serious romantic feelings for one another? I REPEAT: I AM NOT SAYING I WANT A RELATIONSHIP WITH PHIL. It's just that there is no real reason things couldn't develop if they do so naturally.

Kind of weird, huh?

I guess we'll see what happens.