Secrecy is a funny thing. I have spent a lot of time on this blog and in general talking about how important it is to be "out" as kinky players. I believe in that just as much today as I ever did. However, I do have to admit that lately I have been exploring a new interest. Something I hadn't really ever thought about except for a few times before a few months ago. And, I am beginning to understand one of the reasons some people prefer to keep some of their interests secret.
Most people don't have the opportunity in their lives to be very open about all this. I think some people, though, get off on how taboo this all is. Working at Nasty Pig, I hear it all the time. "I could wear this and people wouldn't even know where it was from". Seriously? Who cares if they knew where it was from? Is there really anything dirty about Nasty Pig? Maybe I am just too desensitized, but it always struck me as incredibly juvenile that people had such reactions to having this big secret.
Still, as I mentioned above... I am beginning to understand the allure of having a "dirty secret". Though I still think there is nothing particularly dirty about Nasty Pig, I am growing to appreciate the feeling one can have from feeling something privately. The interest I have recently taken plays into a lot of my humiliation fantasies, and taps into a lot of my inner most feelings of social right and wrong. The feeling that you are doing something very dirty, outside the scope of "how people are supposed to behave" can actually be exhilarating. More than exhilarating, having some dirty sexual secret heightens the sense of humiliation you have from doing the action in the first place.
I'm not going to reveal what my interest is, but it has elicited in me a feeling I have never had before. A rush of adrenaline like I have never known. It's sexual and emotional in a way I can not adequately describe. And what's more, the rush wouldn't be half as strong if I was out and proud about my new interest. By being proud of something, you take away its power to humiliate you. I don't want that. I have always been curious about humiliation, and now I have found a way for me to feel it in a way I never thought possible. I want to give guys the power to humiliate me, and as long as I feel that way, I'm gonna keep my secret. My own private dirty secret...
8 comments:
whatever it is, sounds hot. as someone who reads you fairly often, i'm intrigued but still don't want to know! i have similar kinks and i know exactly the feeling you describe. even when i've "outed" myself to fellow kinksters, i still feel a wave of humiliation and shame that is somehow better than any affirmation could possibly be. so cheers to you for exploring and keeping secret your dirty fantasy!
You're wearing a bodystocking under your clothes wherever you go?
does it include plastic?
I understand that perfectly. The last time I was tied, completely nude with my cock in some other man's hands (a complete stranger to me), I thought to myself : what my family would say if they ever saw me degraded like this, but at the same time it felt so good, do I have any regrets ? Hell no ! :)
But I still like it to be able to act like my mummy's perfect little boy when I come to visit her during my vacations... hummm...dirty me ! :)
sounds like you are having fun and that's great! looking forward to hearing more! Hope you were well tied and gagged at MAL
John
"Is there really anything dirty about Nasty Pig?"
This line made me LOL
Interesting post indeed. One's "dirty little secret" can be devilishly wicked, or perhaps even saintly and wholesome. Yes, some kinksters HIDE their wholesome side; not talkin' 'bout vanilla though. And I have a feeling you know what I mean ... my dirty little secret involves another kind of collar. *wink* think it through.... as for nasty pig being dirty, I will admit I've seen some nasty shit on the floor behind the counter ... but it's usually accompanied by an equally nasty young man on his knees. (another hint perhaps?) Ben, you make me smile.
I bet it involves panties, nylons, and a garter belt.
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