Gonna Get Myself Into It

Well, it sure has been a while.


I'm sure plenty of you are wondering where I've been and why I haven't been posting. To be honest I didn't really know why I stopped posting. It all started to feel like some great burden that I was stuck with, but I couldn't put my finger on just what was wrong.

Well I took a little break to get some distance, and I am starting to figure out just what happened. When I started this blog four years ago, I wanted it to be a resource. My first post was a ennumerated guide for getting into kink. Out of all the posts I have written since, my "Ten Things to Know" still exemplifies what this blog was intended to be: a resource. Looking back, I remember wanting to let other kinky guys know that they weren't alone, and that there is nothing wrong with being kinky. At the time, the best way I knew how to do that was to offer my own experiences as a reference.

I always hoped my blog would walk the line between educational and erotic. After all, eroticism is at the heart of so many kinky, kinky things we do. It was really important to me that I express every aspect of the experiences I had. I never wanted to write about just getting tied up or disciplined; I wanted to express how it made me feel. That's what separated me from porn. It wasn't supposed to be about how hot it was. It was supposed to be about the thoughts, feelings, and sensations we experience during kinky sex.

Recently though, that balance began to slip away. While I may have never been as good as I thought I was at hitting that balance, being in a relationship really changed the way I wrote. Not being responsible to or for anyone had allowed me to write on a deeply personal level about my sexuality and my partners. That just isn't the case anymore. No matter what, I always have to consider A. when I write my posts, and it has made me a much more private person. A lot of the feelings I have about and during sex are for him only.

This newly discovered privacy slowly began to drain the personality from my writing. I didn't want to write about how I felt, so I just wrote what happened. Now, of course I wrote my "feelings" about how turned on I was or how incredibly hot it was. While these may have been perfectly true, I always felt like I was leaving out the personal aspect that had been the soul of this entire blog. All of the laughter, levity, boredom, jealousy, and everything else that goes into sex between partners got stripped away and all that was left was porn.

So, if I am going to write this blog I need to make some changes. My privacy is still very important, so I am not entirely sure where this blog is going to go. I may not be posting regularly either. I will be making an effort to write more, and I already have some ideas on topics that find that balance I used to have.

P.S. Special thanks to Dan Savage for linking me on Savage Love!