Fuckin: Part 1

Loyal readers will know that I have always had trouble bottoming. In fact, it was just about a year ago that I got fucked for the first time. I had tried a few times before that, but it just never really happened. Dicks, toys, fingers: nothing seemed to fit up there comfortably. I even thought there was something wrong with me or that I was somehow biologically predispositioned against fucking! I mean, I would hear all my friends telling me how their cherry-popping just happened. Either they got drunk at a bar and went home with some stranger, found some guy online and ended up just getting fucked, or they were already fucking themselves with household objects when they were teens. I would listen to these stories and think, "WHY IS IT SO FUCKING EASY FOR YOU?". I mean, come on! How could everyone I know think fucking and ass play were just no big deal, when I was in so much pain just trying to get a baby plug in!?

So after I finally got fucked by Daddy at the maiden age of twenty four, I was confident the worst was behind me. After all, I did it! I got fucked! The hard part was over, and I was ready to finally start being the porn-star bottom that had always seemed out of my reach. Well, this may shock you, but getting fucked was only one step in the long journey it's been towards becoming a bottom.

In fact, my hopelessness fell to an all time low as I began to realize every time was just as hard as the first. It always hurt and it always hurt too much. Because it hurt we didn't fuck very often. Because we didn't fuck very often, I didn't get a lot of practice. Because I didn't get any practice, it always hurt, and the vicious cycle of butt fucking went round and round.

Luckily, there actually was VERY small progress made with each time. Even I, an anal illiterate, turned into a jungle animal when Daddy was hitting my prostate. Over time, we actually got to a place where I was starting to enjoy it. Unfortunately, that place was always on top of Daddy with his cock only about halfway in, and minimal thrusting. In essence, I was only able to get fucked when Daddy lay perfectly still and let me ride him a little bit.

Between my difficulties even getting to that enjoyable place and Daddy's apathy about being a human dildo, we eventually just stopped doing it. I never let him really do anything and he never seemed that interested when we were doing it (because I never let him really do anything), so it just lost it's appeal to both of us. At the time of course, we were both dealing with this very privately, and neither of us really knew what the other was going through. This all eventually came to a head in a big discussion after a week of tension between us. As usual, I felt much better after our talk AND much more committed to becoming a bottom.

Luckily, I armed myself with more than a newly found conviction for bottoming. On the fourth day of Chanukah last year, I received the three greatest plugs a BIT (bottom-in-training) could ask for: the Square Peg Egg Plug. Available in XS-XXXL, this is by far the most comfortable thing I have ever had inside me. I rarely endorse products, but seriously, if you're a BIT like me, GET THESE: http://www.squarepegtoys.com/shop/egg-plug/. It will completely change your life.

In my next post, I'll tell you all about the six months since I decided to take my ass into my own hands and train myself to be a bottom.