It's been two weeks, and I am a bad blogger! To make it up I am going to post a story I wrote for a Dom about my experience at the Amsterdam Eagle. Its a three part story, and yes it is written to arouse more than it is to share. Still, all true.
Part 1
I got there and sat by the bar, and could tell right away it was different than U.S. Eagles. It was clearly all about cruising and hooking up. Which was perfect for me. I hadn't sucked any cock in almost two weeks and it was really starting to get to me. The bar was pretty slow, with mostly just a few older guys in there. Then this younger, light skinned black man walked in. He had long dreads wrapped up under a cap, and spotted me right away. I cruised him back and he went downstairs. I figured I would run into him eventually.
After my beer I got up and decided to take a walk around. There were two sections, upstairs and downstairs. Downstairs had a cruisy section that was dimly lit by red light. And then a dark room which was a labirynth of barely lit corridors and stalls. Walking towards the back room to see what it was, Dreads came out. I was about to pass but he physically stopped me. He looked at me and said I looked like a cocksucker. I just nodded. He reached down and groped his cock through his pants and said "You gonna suck this for me?". Again, I just nodded.
He pushed open the nearest stall and I followed him in. I was on my knees in a second, fondling the bulge in his pants. Within a min, his pants were open and my shirt was off. He had a nice cock. Def big, but could have been thicker. I went to town on it non-the less. I had had a few public scenes with relative strangers in the past, but this was different. This man saw a cocksucker, and decided to use it. There was no "You're adorable" or "You're so cute". It was "You're a cocksucker, and you're gonna suck this dick".
I was def going to town on his cock. I hadn't sucked in weeks, and I was so fucking hungry for it. You know I have trouble describing the WAY I was sucking. Really, you know by memory how I suck cock better than any way I could describe it. He liked it quick though. And every now and again he would grab my head and fuck my mouth. Usually wouldn't last too long, but as You can guess... i fucking loved every second of having my mouth fucked like a tight hole.
My hands were behind my back the entire time, until he asked me to start using my hands too. So I started stroking and sucking in tandem. At this rate, it didn't take too long. "Where you want this load, cocksucker?". I begged him to cum on my slut face. He obliged. Soon he was shooting a decent load all over my face, overshooting just a bit. As the last few drops fell onto my lips, I opened up and sucked it clean. Before I knew it, his pants were zipped and he was out the door.
This is part one. In part two, I suck off a bearded macho fucker before he passes me off to a large, bald black man. Part three, after that.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Friday, October 16, 2009
Visitting home
Home for a few days in good ole south Jersey. Mostly suburban, but parts can be fairly rural. There are some really perfect spots for a kidnapping scene. If only.... :-)
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Rope Bondage Class
Well here is a bit of an update. Last Monday I taught a class on rope bondage for a local BDSM group called SIGMA. It started at the first Code (which you can read about just a few posts down), when one of the groups organizers saw my work on military Matt and Hollister. He got my email address from David and shot me a message asking if I was interested. Why not, right?
So for the next few weeks I would occasionally consider what exactly I wanted to teach them. It was pretty obvious for me that I wanted to take a "back to basics" approach. Pete said there had been classes on rope bondage before, but I really can not emphasize enough how important basics are to rope bondage. By mastering a few really basic ties (two column, single column) and knots (square, larks head), you can really start to use your imagination when it comes to position. But really, even more than mastering the basics (as I would tell the class), is having the right mindset for rope bondage. All it takes to be good at rope bondage is a desire to be good at rope bondage. If you have an intentionality in every tie you do, the rest will happen on its own. It's only when people try to rush things or figure them out as they go that the bondage becomes sloppy and ineffective. So, with this approach, I decided to ground the class on the hogtie. It was only about 75 mins long, so I didn't want to try anything too ambitions. Sure enough, the class really needed to take things slowly, so it was best I kept my goals modest.
I showed up and everyone was already there (save a few stragglers), and I was still nervous. I had been anxious for a few days over teaching the class. Mostly just in terms of effectively structuring the class, giving them useful information, the right amount of information, etc... As I set up, they went over SIGMA announcements and then Pete introduced me. While we were dispersing rope, I talked a bit about myself and my experiences/thoughts on rope bondage. I also emphasized that I am NOT AN EXPERT, and still have a lot to learn. Which actually made me a perfect teacher in many ways. I was an example of someone who could do pretty decent bondage without knowing a lot of elaborate technique. If I could do it, so could they. Then I took the class step by step over the positions and techniques involved in a basic hogtie. With fifteen mins left in class, their challenge was to effectively hogtie their partners (they had paired up) without them escaping. If the partner escaped it would teach you where you needed to improve.
I think everyone had a really good time, and I got to see my old friend Brian from the NYBC which was really nice.
Afterwards, Pete sent me this message:
I'm feeling pretty good about the whole thing :-).
So for the next few weeks I would occasionally consider what exactly I wanted to teach them. It was pretty obvious for me that I wanted to take a "back to basics" approach. Pete said there had been classes on rope bondage before, but I really can not emphasize enough how important basics are to rope bondage. By mastering a few really basic ties (two column, single column) and knots (square, larks head), you can really start to use your imagination when it comes to position. But really, even more than mastering the basics (as I would tell the class), is having the right mindset for rope bondage. All it takes to be good at rope bondage is a desire to be good at rope bondage. If you have an intentionality in every tie you do, the rest will happen on its own. It's only when people try to rush things or figure them out as they go that the bondage becomes sloppy and ineffective. So, with this approach, I decided to ground the class on the hogtie. It was only about 75 mins long, so I didn't want to try anything too ambitions. Sure enough, the class really needed to take things slowly, so it was best I kept my goals modest.
I showed up and everyone was already there (save a few stragglers), and I was still nervous. I had been anxious for a few days over teaching the class. Mostly just in terms of effectively structuring the class, giving them useful information, the right amount of information, etc... As I set up, they went over SIGMA announcements and then Pete introduced me. While we were dispersing rope, I talked a bit about myself and my experiences/thoughts on rope bondage. I also emphasized that I am NOT AN EXPERT, and still have a lot to learn. Which actually made me a perfect teacher in many ways. I was an example of someone who could do pretty decent bondage without knowing a lot of elaborate technique. If I could do it, so could they. Then I took the class step by step over the positions and techniques involved in a basic hogtie. With fifteen mins left in class, their challenge was to effectively hogtie their partners (they had paired up) without them escaping. If the partner escaped it would teach you where you needed to improve.
I think everyone had a really good time, and I got to see my old friend Brian from the NYBC which was really nice.
Afterwards, Pete sent me this message:
Hi guy.
I hope last night's class did not take too much out of your studying time. I stayed around awhile talking to some of the attendees and without exception all were very pleased with what they got to do and YOU as a presenter.
For my part, I would like to thank you for your presentation and making all the guys feel good about what they were doing/ how well they were doing it.
For my part, I would like to thank you for your presentation and making all the guys feel good about what they were doing/ how well they were doing it.
Thanks again for making the class a success.
Pete
I'm feeling pretty good about the whole thing :-).
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Nothing new
Sorry, readers. I'm afraid there just has not been anything particularly new to post. Don't think I'm neglecting you. This is just a very reactionary blog in a lot of ways. Will be posting something soon hopefully.
Friday, September 18, 2009
A good summary
So recently I started talking to an old friend (who I dated for a month my freshman year) and we quickly got onto the topic of his curiosity in Domination and submission. For him it has always been a part of his sexuality, but that's the extent. Asking me about how it has played out in my life, I volunteered to send him an email that summed it up. I was so pleased with the way that it turned out that I figured it would make a great blog post.
Sir,
Submission has been a complete journey for me. It all started with bondage, admittedly. When I was eleven I was jerking off thinking about being bound and gagged, and over time that evolved. In my mid teens I started experimenting with BDSM more and began to appreciate bondage in conjunction with other things (light SM, humiliation, sex, etc…). After I moved to DC, my desire to explore these other areas (and my ability to find partners to experiment with) rose quickly. By the time I was twenty, I had been tied up more times than I could count, had been sexually humiliated and objectified, and had thoroughly indulged some of my biggest fetishes (mostly sniffing dirty socks/jocks, breath play, water sports, gear, groups, etc…).
Despite all this, it wasn’t until January 2008 (I was twenty), that I really started to explore what it means to submit. Don’t get me wrong; I had already experimented with following orders, houseboying, etc… But that’s not what real submission is about. It started when I met David. I was moving to NYC in the summer and had been looking for leathermen in the area to get to know before I moved. I found David online and we clicked right away. The first night we talked on the phone, we talked for about three hours and I opened up to him quite a lot. In a months time, I had experienced submission in a way I never had. In just a matter of weeks, David had exerted an external authority on my entire life that gave me an incredible satisfaction I had never felt.
Under David’s suggestion/order, I had a 2:00am bedtime every night except Friday and Saturday, and 10:00 wake up time. This meant at 2:00am it was lights out, ass in bed, and at 10:00 I was awake and out of bed. I also had academic standards to meet. I was not allowed to skip class, and could not receive a grade lower than B- on a single assignment or overall grade. My diet also changed slightly. David introduced healthier (more grown-up) options into my life that replaced things like the breads I ate (all whole-grain now), the cereals I ate (no more trix), the amount of vegetables I ate, etc…
Now, as I said, this gave me an extreme sense of satisfaction and happiness that I had never felt. Note that nothing about this is cruel, or mean, or commanding in the way people typically view bdsm. Quite the contrary, David as a figure of authority in my life, was exceptionally nurturing. This aspect of our relationship dealt with the structure a Dominant man (a Sir) can give a submissive boy. Also note the mutuality of it. David got the pleasure of nurturing and structuring a boy, and I got structure to help me achieve my goals and be successful. In a sense, this aspect of a Dom/sub relationship is where the rules are inserted. For us these rules were never sexual, but that is quite particular to us. Many Dom/sub pairs have rules that involve sex, daily dress, regular chores, etc… It is all about the specific needs and desires of the individuals.
There is another aspect submission that played out after I moved to NYC into his apartment. Now I should note that about a month before this happen, something happened to David. I don’t really know what, to be honest, but he got scared. He started changing, and was there for me much less, and much less involved with making sure I stayed on task. I think he got scared when he realized I would be moving in with him in just a month. So at that point he told me I couldn’t live with him, but that I could stay with him for a few weeks until I found a place.
Still, after I moved there, we experienced the more daily manifestation of roles within our relationship. This was manifested in a lot of ways that met both our desires and needs. One example is in the shared activities couples do everyday, like eating dinner. Whenever we ate, David would be the decider in everything: what type of food, the specific restaurant, and even what I ate and drank. Now at first this seems overbearing, but with all Dominance and submission, it’s all about subtlety. First: David knew me pretty well. So he was capable of making decisions about the foods I would like, and the foods he thought I should try, based on how well he knew me. Second: he would ask for my opinion or preference when he wanted it. Not that I wasn’t allowed to state my preference, its just that I preferred him to be the decider. I would even disagree with him sometimes about what/where we ate. But in the end, I respected that he was the desire.
Which leads me to another point about submission. Like any couple, there are bound to be disagreements. And from a boy’s perspective, I need a man who will listen to what I have to say and treat me and my thoughts/feelings with respect. But, as a boy, I also trust the Sir I am with to make the best decision for both of us, even when I may disagree. So even though, so far, I have made a point to emphasize the mutuality of everything, there are times when Sir’s word is the law and I have to respect and obey.
Another aspect of this involves discipline. No one is perfect. So when Sir sets rules like the ones I mentioned earlier, sometimes I am going to break them (whether on intentionally or not). And when that happens, I submit (by entering this relationship) to a punishment that meets the crime. This, like many things, very much depends on the individual(s). For David and I, punishments ranged in variety from a good talking to, time out to reflect on my mistakes, to a hard over-the-knee spanking (in addition to a good talking to). Afterwards, it was always important to take me in his arms (sometimes while I cried, sobbed, and shook), and tell me that he forgave me and that he cares about me a lot.
I suppose the last area I want to cover is the roles that you both take quite naturally in the evolution of the relationship. For me, these roles have generally taken on traditional gender roles. For example, when I am with a Man; I clean for Him, cook for Him (though usually we cook together or take turns), run errands, and generally keep a submissive and ready-to-please attitude when I’m in the home. Furthermore, I am very much responsible for his emotional caretaking. And in turn, he’s responsible for mine. In contrast to me, however; He frequently pays, makes the decisions around the house, and expects me to satisfy Him sexually (which in turn satisfies me).
I hope this has given you a general overview of how submission plays out in my life. It is, more than anything, about trust and unbridled communication. I am always open to ANY questions you might have. And if you have the liberty (I am assuming your internet use is monitored), you should check out my blog sometime, which is ALL about my experiences as a submissive boy and begins a few months after things ended with David.
ben
Sir,
Submission has been a complete journey for me. It all started with bondage, admittedly. When I was eleven I was jerking off thinking about being bound and gagged, and over time that evolved. In my mid teens I started experimenting with BDSM more and began to appreciate bondage in conjunction with other things (light SM, humiliation, sex, etc…). After I moved to DC, my desire to explore these other areas (and my ability to find partners to experiment with) rose quickly. By the time I was twenty, I had been tied up more times than I could count, had been sexually humiliated and objectified, and had thoroughly indulged some of my biggest fetishes (mostly sniffing dirty socks/jocks, breath play, water sports, gear, groups, etc…).
Despite all this, it wasn’t until January 2008 (I was twenty), that I really started to explore what it means to submit. Don’t get me wrong; I had already experimented with following orders, houseboying, etc… But that’s not what real submission is about. It started when I met David. I was moving to NYC in the summer and had been looking for leathermen in the area to get to know before I moved. I found David online and we clicked right away. The first night we talked on the phone, we talked for about three hours and I opened up to him quite a lot. In a months time, I had experienced submission in a way I never had. In just a matter of weeks, David had exerted an external authority on my entire life that gave me an incredible satisfaction I had never felt.
Under David’s suggestion/order, I had a 2:00am bedtime every night except Friday and Saturday, and 10:00 wake up time. This meant at 2:00am it was lights out, ass in bed, and at 10:00 I was awake and out of bed. I also had academic standards to meet. I was not allowed to skip class, and could not receive a grade lower than B- on a single assignment or overall grade. My diet also changed slightly. David introduced healthier (more grown-up) options into my life that replaced things like the breads I ate (all whole-grain now), the cereals I ate (no more trix), the amount of vegetables I ate, etc…
Now, as I said, this gave me an extreme sense of satisfaction and happiness that I had never felt. Note that nothing about this is cruel, or mean, or commanding in the way people typically view bdsm. Quite the contrary, David as a figure of authority in my life, was exceptionally nurturing. This aspect of our relationship dealt with the structure a Dominant man (a Sir) can give a submissive boy. Also note the mutuality of it. David got the pleasure of nurturing and structuring a boy, and I got structure to help me achieve my goals and be successful. In a sense, this aspect of a Dom/sub relationship is where the rules are inserted. For us these rules were never sexual, but that is quite particular to us. Many Dom/sub pairs have rules that involve sex, daily dress, regular chores, etc… It is all about the specific needs and desires of the individuals.
There is another aspect submission that played out after I moved to NYC into his apartment. Now I should note that about a month before this happen, something happened to David. I don’t really know what, to be honest, but he got scared. He started changing, and was there for me much less, and much less involved with making sure I stayed on task. I think he got scared when he realized I would be moving in with him in just a month. So at that point he told me I couldn’t live with him, but that I could stay with him for a few weeks until I found a place.
Still, after I moved there, we experienced the more daily manifestation of roles within our relationship. This was manifested in a lot of ways that met both our desires and needs. One example is in the shared activities couples do everyday, like eating dinner. Whenever we ate, David would be the decider in everything: what type of food, the specific restaurant, and even what I ate and drank. Now at first this seems overbearing, but with all Dominance and submission, it’s all about subtlety. First: David knew me pretty well. So he was capable of making decisions about the foods I would like, and the foods he thought I should try, based on how well he knew me. Second: he would ask for my opinion or preference when he wanted it. Not that I wasn’t allowed to state my preference, its just that I preferred him to be the decider. I would even disagree with him sometimes about what/where we ate. But in the end, I respected that he was the desire.
Which leads me to another point about submission. Like any couple, there are bound to be disagreements. And from a boy’s perspective, I need a man who will listen to what I have to say and treat me and my thoughts/feelings with respect. But, as a boy, I also trust the Sir I am with to make the best decision for both of us, even when I may disagree. So even though, so far, I have made a point to emphasize the mutuality of everything, there are times when Sir’s word is the law and I have to respect and obey.
Another aspect of this involves discipline. No one is perfect. So when Sir sets rules like the ones I mentioned earlier, sometimes I am going to break them (whether on intentionally or not). And when that happens, I submit (by entering this relationship) to a punishment that meets the crime. This, like many things, very much depends on the individual(s). For David and I, punishments ranged in variety from a good talking to, time out to reflect on my mistakes, to a hard over-the-knee spanking (in addition to a good talking to). Afterwards, it was always important to take me in his arms (sometimes while I cried, sobbed, and shook), and tell me that he forgave me and that he cares about me a lot.
I suppose the last area I want to cover is the roles that you both take quite naturally in the evolution of the relationship. For me, these roles have generally taken on traditional gender roles. For example, when I am with a Man; I clean for Him, cook for Him (though usually we cook together or take turns), run errands, and generally keep a submissive and ready-to-please attitude when I’m in the home. Furthermore, I am very much responsible for his emotional caretaking. And in turn, he’s responsible for mine. In contrast to me, however; He frequently pays, makes the decisions around the house, and expects me to satisfy Him sexually (which in turn satisfies me).
I hope this has given you a general overview of how submission plays out in my life. It is, more than anything, about trust and unbridled communication. I am always open to ANY questions you might have. And if you have the liberty (I am assuming your internet use is monitored), you should check out my blog sometime, which is ALL about my experiences as a submissive boy and begins a few months after things ended with David.
ben
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