Well, it sure has been a while.
I'm sure plenty of you are wondering where I've been and why I haven't been posting. To be honest I didn't really know why I stopped posting. It all started to feel like some great burden that I was stuck with, but I couldn't put my finger on just what was wrong.
Well I took a little break to get some distance, and I am starting to figure out just what happened. When I started this blog four years ago, I wanted it to be a resource. My first post was a ennumerated guide for getting into kink. Out of all the posts I have written since, my "Ten Things to Know" still exemplifies what this blog was intended to be: a resource. Looking back, I remember wanting to let other kinky guys know that they weren't alone, and that there is nothing wrong with being kinky. At the time, the best way I knew how to do that was to offer my own experiences as a reference.
I always hoped my blog would walk the line between educational and erotic. After all, eroticism is at the heart of so many kinky, kinky things we do. It was really important to me that I express every aspect of the experiences I had. I never wanted to write about just getting tied up or disciplined; I wanted to express how it made me feel. That's what separated me from porn. It wasn't supposed to be about how hot it was. It was supposed to be about the thoughts, feelings, and sensations we experience during kinky sex.
Recently though, that balance began to slip away. While I may have never been as good as I thought I was at hitting that balance, being in a relationship really changed the way I wrote. Not being responsible to or for anyone had allowed me to write on a deeply personal level about my sexuality and my partners. That just isn't the case anymore. No matter what, I always have to consider A. when I write my posts, and it has made me a much more private person. A lot of the feelings I have about and during sex are for him only.
This newly discovered privacy slowly began to drain the personality from my writing. I didn't want to write about how I felt, so I just wrote what happened. Now, of course I wrote my "feelings" about how turned on I was or how incredibly hot it was. While these may have been perfectly true, I always felt like I was leaving out the personal aspect that had been the soul of this entire blog. All of the laughter, levity, boredom, jealousy, and everything else that goes into sex between partners got stripped away and all that was left was porn.
So, if I am going to write this blog I need to make some changes. My privacy is still very important, so I am not entirely sure where this blog is going to go. I may not be posting regularly either. I will be making an effort to write more, and I already have some ideas on topics that find that balance I used to have.
P.S. Special thanks to Dan Savage for linking me on Savage Love!
Friday, March 30, 2012
Monday, December 12, 2011
Punishment Forthcoming
Thank you to everyone who commented on my most recent post. Please know that Daddy has chosen a punishment and it will be coming soon. Things are currently pretty busy over here in Daddy's den, and both of us have been under the weather for the past week or so. We'll let everyone know the details of my punishment as soon as we're both back in fighting shape.
Monday, November 28, 2011
Punishment
From the comments on my previous post from "Anonymous":
"I think that since bad boy Ben has not posted recently we should all come up with a punishment we find suitable that his Daddy will have the ultimate say on...."
Well, Anonymous, Daddy agrees with you. You are all correct, it is unacceptable for me to neglect my blog and my readers.
At Daddy's order, I will be accepting punishments in the comments section of this post until midnight on Friday. Daddy will review them all and choose the best or most popular. He will then administer my punishment and post pictures as proof.
I apologize to all of you for being so lazy, and await Your order.
Attached is an example of the last time I was bad.
"I think that since bad boy Ben has not posted recently we should all come up with a punishment we find suitable that his Daddy will have the ultimate say on...."
Well, Anonymous, Daddy agrees with you. You are all correct, it is unacceptable for me to neglect my blog and my readers.
At Daddy's order, I will be accepting punishments in the comments section of this post until midnight on Friday. Daddy will review them all and choose the best or most popular. He will then administer my punishment and post pictures as proof.
I apologize to all of you for being so lazy, and await Your order.
Attached is an example of the last time I was bad.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
The Spanking Cup
A few weeks ago, Daddy informed me there would be a new system of discipline in the home, and it all had to do with a small glass cup. He came over where I was sitting and put it in my hand so I could get a better look. The label around the rim read, "Spanking Cup". Even more curiously, three small metal S hooks were hanging off the rim. Unsure what to make of the foreign object, I looked up at Daddy inquisitively.
He smiled broadly and introduced me to the spanking cup. The three S hooks around the rim represented an offense that was not quite so egregious as to warrant a spanking, but bad enough to need correction. Every time I committed such an offense, one hook was taken off the rim and dropped in the cup. There are only three hooks. Can you guess what happens when all three hooks fall into the cup? If you guessed a spanking, you guessed correctly. Go straight over Daddy's knee. Do not pass go. Do not collect two hundred dollars. At the end of the day, each S would go back onto the rim, and I would begin the next day with a clean slate.
Now Daddy knows me well enough to predict that I was already trying to figure out ways to abuse the system. For example, it would be easy enough to just get two S hooks a day. In fact, it is almost like being given a free pass to misbehave twice a day. This is why he told me very clearly that gaming the system in itself is a spankable offense, and that he would be quite vigilant in making sure I played nicely.
However, Daddy is also a very kind man. Another element of the system, designed to keep me from not misbehaving at all, involved a reward. For every day I go without getting ANY hooks in the cup, I get a reward. At this point, Daddy asked for my input in coming up with the most effective and reasonable award. This is how my punch card was created. I will let it speak for itself.
I personally think its genius. The reward is something I want very badly, but given so incrementally that it really requires long term good-behavior to be of any value. Daddy has never been a big bondage enthusiast, but he enjoys it enough to play along. With the new system, however, I don't feel like I am bugging him to do something just for me when I need to be bound and gagged. With my punch card, I know that he is just doing it for me, but that's ok because it's something I have earned. All together, it has made being tied up and left to struggle (my favorite) a much more regular part of our relationship, which has left me quite satisfied.
To this day, I have yet to get all three hooks in the cup. It's mostly split between no hooks or one hook. All together, it has been a very effective system.
Having said that, I'm always looking for new ideas on how to spend my earnings! If anyone has ideas for positions, ties, gags, what I should be wearing, where tied, etc... let me know!
He smiled broadly and introduced me to the spanking cup. The three S hooks around the rim represented an offense that was not quite so egregious as to warrant a spanking, but bad enough to need correction. Every time I committed such an offense, one hook was taken off the rim and dropped in the cup. There are only three hooks. Can you guess what happens when all three hooks fall into the cup? If you guessed a spanking, you guessed correctly. Go straight over Daddy's knee. Do not pass go. Do not collect two hundred dollars. At the end of the day, each S would go back onto the rim, and I would begin the next day with a clean slate.
Now Daddy knows me well enough to predict that I was already trying to figure out ways to abuse the system. For example, it would be easy enough to just get two S hooks a day. In fact, it is almost like being given a free pass to misbehave twice a day. This is why he told me very clearly that gaming the system in itself is a spankable offense, and that he would be quite vigilant in making sure I played nicely.
However, Daddy is also a very kind man. Another element of the system, designed to keep me from not misbehaving at all, involved a reward. For every day I go without getting ANY hooks in the cup, I get a reward. At this point, Daddy asked for my input in coming up with the most effective and reasonable award. This is how my punch card was created. I will let it speak for itself.
I personally think its genius. The reward is something I want very badly, but given so incrementally that it really requires long term good-behavior to be of any value. Daddy has never been a big bondage enthusiast, but he enjoys it enough to play along. With the new system, however, I don't feel like I am bugging him to do something just for me when I need to be bound and gagged. With my punch card, I know that he is just doing it for me, but that's ok because it's something I have earned. All together, it has made being tied up and left to struggle (my favorite) a much more regular part of our relationship, which has left me quite satisfied.
To this day, I have yet to get all three hooks in the cup. It's mostly split between no hooks or one hook. All together, it has been a very effective system.
Having said that, I'm always looking for new ideas on how to spend my earnings! If anyone has ideas for positions, ties, gags, what I should be wearing, where tied, etc... let me know!
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
A House with Consequences
A few months ago, Daddy sat me down and we talked about discipline. More specifically, we discussed what each of us wanted from out relationship in regards to discipline and authority. I felt somewhat limited in my ability to come to the table though. After all, I had only been in one relationship before, and it was relatively vanilla. Luckily for me, Daddy really does always know best.
That's when he told me about his past boys and boyfriends. He shared some of the ways discipline was a part of these relationships, and explained to me what worked and didn't. Just as importantly, Daddy told me how he hoped to incorporate discipline into our relationship. I found our hopes for the relationship were quite similar.
In essence, we wanted to create a relationship and home where Daddy is in charge. Neither of us is bound by formal rules or codes. We simply live with the very basic and loving understanding that he's in charge. We would continue to act in ways that are organic for us, but always under his watchful eye. And if and when he sees fit, I can be punished at his discretion whenever and for whatever cause he has.
This last part was something I felt ready for. So much so, that I unfortunately became slightly impatient. I was giddy at the idea of being given boundaries and held accountable for my behavior. So I did what any rude and impatient boy would do: kept bringing it up and pestering him about it. He told me in very specific words that he wanted to take things slowly, but patience has never been one of my virtues. So I waited, and waited, and began to doubt it would ever happen.
Until today. Coming in from a day of furniture shopping, Daddy and I decided to order dinner. He gave me four meal options. I guessed the first two might be, "Daddy's ass on a plate" and "Daddy's head on a plate". They were incorrect, and my fourth option became "A swift spanking and no dinner". My more bratty instincts kicked in right about now, and I requested the fourth option. He asked if I had a back up meal plan, and I just kept pushing him; committed to calling his bluff.
Well, he called mine. He walked into the bathroom, grabbed the bath brush, came back, grabbed me, put me over his knee, and spanked me. It couldn't have been more than ten swats in total, but BOY did they sting. My spanking was not only swift, but also clearly punitive. As someone who is quickly falling in love with spanking, I was shocked to see how clearly this spanking was not playful.
Afterward he sat me down and explained to me what just happened, and why. As it turns out, today is the first day of domestic discipline in the home. Daddy clearly thinks we're ready, and I'm eager to see what this new adventure holds for us. Something tells me I'll have some trouble sitting down over the next few weeks.
That's when he told me about his past boys and boyfriends. He shared some of the ways discipline was a part of these relationships, and explained to me what worked and didn't. Just as importantly, Daddy told me how he hoped to incorporate discipline into our relationship. I found our hopes for the relationship were quite similar.
In essence, we wanted to create a relationship and home where Daddy is in charge. Neither of us is bound by formal rules or codes. We simply live with the very basic and loving understanding that he's in charge. We would continue to act in ways that are organic for us, but always under his watchful eye. And if and when he sees fit, I can be punished at his discretion whenever and for whatever cause he has.
This last part was something I felt ready for. So much so, that I unfortunately became slightly impatient. I was giddy at the idea of being given boundaries and held accountable for my behavior. So I did what any rude and impatient boy would do: kept bringing it up and pestering him about it. He told me in very specific words that he wanted to take things slowly, but patience has never been one of my virtues. So I waited, and waited, and began to doubt it would ever happen.
Until today. Coming in from a day of furniture shopping, Daddy and I decided to order dinner. He gave me four meal options. I guessed the first two might be, "Daddy's ass on a plate" and "Daddy's head on a plate". They were incorrect, and my fourth option became "A swift spanking and no dinner". My more bratty instincts kicked in right about now, and I requested the fourth option. He asked if I had a back up meal plan, and I just kept pushing him; committed to calling his bluff.
Well, he called mine. He walked into the bathroom, grabbed the bath brush, came back, grabbed me, put me over his knee, and spanked me. It couldn't have been more than ten swats in total, but BOY did they sting. My spanking was not only swift, but also clearly punitive. As someone who is quickly falling in love with spanking, I was shocked to see how clearly this spanking was not playful.
Afterward he sat me down and explained to me what just happened, and why. As it turns out, today is the first day of domestic discipline in the home. Daddy clearly thinks we're ready, and I'm eager to see what this new adventure holds for us. Something tells me I'll have some trouble sitting down over the next few weeks.
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