Alright guys, sorry for not posting lately. To be honest, there hasn't really been much to report (at least nothing I am ready to report quite yet).
But I wanted to keep the blog alive, so I thought I would post another open thread for discussion. This topic is aimed more to give me valuable feedback. I care a lot about what you guys think, so the topic is:
What do you enjoy most about this blog? What not so much? What could be improved? What would you like more of?
Friday, April 10, 2009
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Thoughts
Tonight, I had some brief conversations with two acquaintances of mine. One is a pup, just begginning his first real Dom/sub relationship. The other is his Sir. The pup's eagerness, and the Sir's firm enthusiasm for this eager young man were very touching. And in a sense, they inspired the tiniest pangs of jealousy in me.
As I soaked in the shower, casually washing off the days grime, I thought about them. And I thought about myself too. I remember what it was like, being with my first Sir. It was...well, it was incredible. The way I threw myself into it, the way I would spend every day waiting for 1:55 when Sir would call and tuck me in to bed (aka to make sure my ass was in bed and lights were out), the way I felt so much more disciplined in my own life whether it was school or work...all of it was just invigorating. While I had certainly loved my boyfriend when I was 16....in many ways.... David was my first love. Mostly, because he was my first Sir. As you know, I don't talk about it very much. Mostly because he is very private, and because sometimes its still hard.
Looking at the Sir and his new pup, it made me wish I still had that. And it made me think about what I do have. To put it simply, I have Greg. But what we have is so much more cautious. He'll give me sound Daddy advice...but whether I choose to accept it or not is up to me. I think that's best for now, and he and I have discussed this. The more I allow myself to be His...the more I'll...well...be His. And I'm not ready for that. Not emotionally, and not longitudinally. I'll be moving to NYC in January, and we will have all the time in the world. But until then I need to stay safe. Which, I'm learning... means the intensity just won't be there.
This got me thinking about what is there. And if you all don't mind, I would like to address this specifically to him.
Sir,
As You can see, I was ruminating on what isn't there between us. I'm sure You realize this too. But it did make me think about what there is between us. And I want You to tell You what I've found. Namely, its You.
We've explored the dynamic of a Dominant man and a submissive boy somewhat, and it has been wonderful. But what may just be better, is that all the time we haven't spent exploring that dynamic, I got to explore You. Not as a Sir...just as a man. And i have to say, You're an amazing man.
When I'm around You, time just flies. You make me laugh so much, and I feel like I can be goofy and myself when we're together. You're fiercely intelligent, with a keen wit that keeps me on my toes. And You're very playful...verbally, physically.... its why we have so much fun together. And possibly most important, You have shown me unparalleled generosity and kindness. You're sweeter than anyone I've ever been interested in, and You make me feel special...
So, I guess what I am trying to say is... I like You. I don't care if the Sir/boy dynamic is something we hold off on until we're both ready. I like having Greg in my life. I think about You a lot.
Finally, I wanted to close with one last thought I had in my shower. Is it ok if sometimes I call You "Greg" instead of "Sir"? Calling You "Sir" signifies how I admire You as a Dominant man. But there are a number of men I call "Sir". And sometimes...I want you to know that I care about You not just because You possess the traits of a Dominant man, but because You are one of the most amazing men I'v ever met. When I say goodnight, or tell You I missed you, or anything like that...sometimes I want You to know its just because You're...You.
I hope this is ok. Please let me know. I miss You.
ben
As I soaked in the shower, casually washing off the days grime, I thought about them. And I thought about myself too. I remember what it was like, being with my first Sir. It was...well, it was incredible. The way I threw myself into it, the way I would spend every day waiting for 1:55 when Sir would call and tuck me in to bed (aka to make sure my ass was in bed and lights were out), the way I felt so much more disciplined in my own life whether it was school or work...all of it was just invigorating. While I had certainly loved my boyfriend when I was 16....in many ways.... David was my first love. Mostly, because he was my first Sir. As you know, I don't talk about it very much. Mostly because he is very private, and because sometimes its still hard.
Looking at the Sir and his new pup, it made me wish I still had that. And it made me think about what I do have. To put it simply, I have Greg. But what we have is so much more cautious. He'll give me sound Daddy advice...but whether I choose to accept it or not is up to me. I think that's best for now, and he and I have discussed this. The more I allow myself to be His...the more I'll...well...be His. And I'm not ready for that. Not emotionally, and not longitudinally. I'll be moving to NYC in January, and we will have all the time in the world. But until then I need to stay safe. Which, I'm learning... means the intensity just won't be there.
This got me thinking about what is there. And if you all don't mind, I would like to address this specifically to him.
Sir,
As You can see, I was ruminating on what isn't there between us. I'm sure You realize this too. But it did make me think about what there is between us. And I want You to tell You what I've found. Namely, its You.
We've explored the dynamic of a Dominant man and a submissive boy somewhat, and it has been wonderful. But what may just be better, is that all the time we haven't spent exploring that dynamic, I got to explore You. Not as a Sir...just as a man. And i have to say, You're an amazing man.
When I'm around You, time just flies. You make me laugh so much, and I feel like I can be goofy and myself when we're together. You're fiercely intelligent, with a keen wit that keeps me on my toes. And You're very playful...verbally, physically.... its why we have so much fun together. And possibly most important, You have shown me unparalleled generosity and kindness. You're sweeter than anyone I've ever been interested in, and You make me feel special...
So, I guess what I am trying to say is... I like You. I don't care if the Sir/boy dynamic is something we hold off on until we're both ready. I like having Greg in my life. I think about You a lot.
Finally, I wanted to close with one last thought I had in my shower. Is it ok if sometimes I call You "Greg" instead of "Sir"? Calling You "Sir" signifies how I admire You as a Dominant man. But there are a number of men I call "Sir". And sometimes...I want you to know that I care about You not just because You possess the traits of a Dominant man, but because You are one of the most amazing men I'v ever met. When I say goodnight, or tell You I missed you, or anything like that...sometimes I want You to know its just because You're...You.
I hope this is ok. Please let me know. I miss You.
ben
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Blog Profile Part 2
So recently, DTNZ down at 2 Cents Worth Down Under recently posted the second part of the profile he did of me and my blog. It's a really diverse blog with a plenty of food for the mind and the cock hehe. Make sure to check it out!
http://2centsworthdownunder.blogspot.com/
http://2centsworthdownunder.blogspot.com/
Monday, March 23, 2009
How much do I suck?
Ok guys, sorry I always end up getting swamped and never have time to update, but I promise updates are on the way.
Having said, I wanted to say I really encourage you guys to give more feedback. I love hearing back from people, hearing how you feel about the blog, how you found it, what works/doesn't work, etc.... Please feel free to post more comments and email me personally at b.m.heisler@gmail.com
And to encourage more participation, I am going to be doing open thread discussion posts where people just share their thoughts on a topic.
My intial thought was "how much do I suck" for all of you who know to write about my head skills hahahaha, but then I figured most of my readers probably don't know (yet).
So today's open post is:
Rope or restraints? And why.
Having said, I wanted to say I really encourage you guys to give more feedback. I love hearing back from people, hearing how you feel about the blog, how you found it, what works/doesn't work, etc.... Please feel free to post more comments and email me personally at b.m.heisler@gmail.com
And to encourage more participation, I am going to be doing open thread discussion posts where people just share their thoughts on a topic.
My intial thought was "how much do I suck" for all of you who know to write about my head skills hahahaha, but then I figured most of my readers probably don't know (yet).
So today's open post is:
Rope or restraints? And why.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Weekend at Sir's
Hey all, spending the weekend with Greg so not much time to write. Will be updating you with this weekend's events as well as more info on the kidnapped pics. Until then, this place is in serious need of a boy's touch. I've got my cute boy undies on, windex in my left hand, and a roll of paper towels in my right (not to mention a small army of Swiffer products). Wish me luck ;-)
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